Did You Know? 100% of recent graduates in my home are unable to find a job!
but you can help! seeing as the honeymoon of my “”“early retirement”“” is over and it seems i just can’t stop spending money on things i need (silly me!) i have opened up commissions for you.
maybe you’ve been thinking a very small section of your living room wall is bare. maybe you’ve been asking yourself, “i wonder if someone would ever draw me some butts for a small fee?” or maybe you just have been waiting for that perfect moment to buy something you may regret spending money on later!
that moment has come, my friends! perfect commissions forever!!
here is the menu. what may i prepare for you? (prices in USD)
- ~fancy~ portrait (now with more effort) $10
these will actually look like a human person with a dash of my “”“style”“” thrown in. 1024x768 pixels
- ~*cutesy*~ portrait $8
not cute enough to be chibi but cuter than a real drawing (see gpoy above). 800x600 pixels
- a butt, a cat, noodle arms, etc $5
whatever ridiculous thing you want, 500x500 pixels, drawn from the heart
- so sexy pinup $8
my old standby~ it can be sketchy like the one shown here (800x600 pixels) or for $2 more get fancied up (1024x768 pixels). (tf2 arms optional, i guess)
- lil’ baby watercolor painting $8
these teeny watercolor paintings are on premium watercolor paper cut to 4x2 inches (portrait or landscape) or 4x4 inches square. add $0.50 for postage (within the US; $1.00 international) and i’ll mail it to you so you can actually feel it with your hands and see it in real life before you hide it away somewhere in shame!
- animated gif $5
black & white only, infinite loop animations drawn in photoshop. here is an example. any size not to exceed 800x600 pixels. detailed animations
- larger canvas paintings are available, please contact me for more information.there is no charge for a simple or solid background. add $1 for each extra figure. all drawings will be in grayscale (see cat and gpoy above) unless specific colors are desired (see dick winters portrait, butt above); for full-color digital illustration, add $2.unfortunately i cannot do the following:
- any more drawings of tim lincecum (j/k i will draw him if i have to)
- graphic sex (i will do ~tasteful nudes; contact me to discuss)
i prefer paypal but we can discuss other means of remuneration if need be. for more examples of my terrible art, check my tablet tag or my art blog. if you’re interested, don’t hesitate to contact me through my ask box or email me at email@example.com!
Here is what my Cutesy Portrait looks like finished! I love it!
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